Text

Reblog With an Irrational Fear

octopus-child:

panzerparade:

wordsmythologic:

twisted-humor:

miniskirt-postwoman:

fuckuimsugoiashell:

megaparsecs:

rainbowbarnacle:

badger-shenanigans:

ukeaco:

starkinglyhandsome:

i-haveahulk:

arrowapollo:

reindeergamess:

rekhyts:

Butterflies

being abandoned by my friends.

ceiling fans

the dark when i’m alone.

pregnant people

sea monsters

infinite ness

Dolls.

._.

huge wide open spaces

clusters of holes

balloons

velociraptors. 

Nothingness.

The passage of time.

Clusters of holes in the skin

Fungi, mainly mushrooms.

(Source: crudemattr)

May 17, 2012
9,964 notes
Chat

My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

  • I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
  • When chemists die, they barium.
  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
  • I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  • They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
  • We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
  • Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
  • I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
  • Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
  • A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
  • The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
  • Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
  • List of puns, or as I call it; list of FUNS.
May 09, 2012
68,539 notes
Photoset

naveregnide:

So someone decided to cover the walls of their apartment in glow in the dark paint…

There are many other random scrawlings and smears on all the walls, but these were the only ones the camera could capture. Walking into the room there’s just green EVERYWHERE. It’s honestly a bit scary…yet hilarious.

“No Hope” was painted on the door, and “I WILL FIND YOU” was painted on the ceiling right above the bed. Genius.

One day I’ll do this, but it won’t say creepy things…Much.

May 06, 2012
9 notes
Photo
bleproxursox: thescienceofhats: I have a friend called Hachpo and me and some of my other friends have made up a joke that he has a really posh cat…. I opened photoshop and…yeah.  What am I doing with my life? … What… I… What… No more photoshop for you. I don’t even know any more :’|

bleproxursox:

thescienceofhats:

I have a friend called Hachpo and me and some of my other friends have made up a joke that he has a really posh cat….

I opened photoshop and…yeah. 

What am I doing with my life?

… What… I… What…

No more photoshop for you.

I don’t even know any more :’|

April 30, 2012
4 notes
Photo
The best part of the mod pack Tekkit? Nukes. Also titled  “Hat is slightly psychopathic when given large amounts of power.”

The best part of the mod pack Tekkit?

Nukes.

Also titled 

“Hat is slightly psychopathic when given large amounts of power.”

Tags: minecraft tekkit I'm probably the only one But when I hear Tekkit I always think Take what? Never give me power...
April 30, 2012
Photo
The adventures of Hahpo’s posh cat part two! 

The adventures of Hahpo’s posh cat part two! 

Tags: posh cats I need a life Someone take photoshop away before I turn insane
April 28, 2012
1 note
Photo
I have a friend called Hachpo and me and some of my other friends have made up a joke that he has a really posh cat…. I opened photoshop and…yeah.  What am I doing with my life?

I have a friend called Hachpo and me and some of my other friends have made up a joke that he has a really posh cat….

I opened photoshop and…yeah. 

What am I doing with my life?

April 28, 2012
4 notes
Text

Gaaaah. *Facedesk.*

Shelly crashed again and I lost 99p.

99p.

I LOST 99p. WHHHYYYY? 

99p is the name of my main minecraft world.

There’s 99p which is my creative world and 42d my survival world.

(There’s also 78f my flat world and 98j which is another survival world that I can’t play until I get my texture pack updated because there are just bright pink blocks where the blocks for my house should be because I built my house using the new planks from the jungle trees and as we know they’ve only recently been added so my texture pack doesn’t currently have a texture for them. End of ramble, back too whine.)

On a tangent here if you play minecraft we should talk to each other because I need someone to talk to who doesn’t look at me weird when I make minecraft jokes.

Back on subject.

I LOST 99p GAAAAAAAAH. 

I was building up 99p to be this world where there were all these cities connected by roads and they were all different themes and I had almost finished the ice one and Shelly crashed and I lost it.

Shelly. The name of my laptop. Say hi. 

Yeah, I know I’m sad. Go away. 

Tags: minecraft I lost 99p 99 god damn p also yes I do name my minecraft worlds in a specific way Why? So I can tell what's in that world before I load it duh
April 10, 2012
Chat

A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

  • When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
  • When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
  • When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
  • When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
  • When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
  • When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
  • When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
  • When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
  • When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
  • When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
  • When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
  • When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
  • When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
  • Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
  • When I'm doing the laundry: OUT, damned spot!
April 10, 2012
50,063 notes
Text

theinsultingdetective:

Read More

The first time I read that I thought it said Knives on your ankle and that you were hallucinating. 

Gawsh, brain.

Anyway. I hope you’re ok. 

Please accept this small token of a virtual hug. 

Tags: I may or may not have just hugged my computer screen Too much time on the internet? Pssssht
April 09, 2012
4 notes

About

portrait

The good kind of crazy.

People I follow

  • theinsultingdetective
  • thats-so-meme
  • psych-facts
  • timinator232
  • apprenticeeh
  • octopus-child
  • bleproxursox
  • did-you-kno
  • coreyvidal
  • fishingboatproceeds
  • fuckyeahapprenticea
  • abefish
  • most-awkward-moments
  • staff
  • thewisepickle
  • edwardspoonhands
  • teenagerposts
  • apprenticea
  • amazingherp
  • plaguelabs